Light reads: 'Calm: Working through life’s daily stresses to find a peaceful centre'

What is calm?

Calm is a state of serenity.

Calm is the feeling of being grounded.

Calm is a place we can all come back to if we remember it’s there.

Calm is clarity and making decisions confidently.

Calm is remembering there is lots of good in the world as well as bad.

Calm is deep breaths and the feeling of support.

Calm is feeling safe and held.

Calm is accepting it all.

Calm is feeling connected even when everything feels hectic.

Calm is not boring.

Calm is not idle or permanently still.

Calm is not shutting out life.

Calm is not hiding away to avoid the world.

Calm is not ignoring the chaos out there

Calm is not saying no out of fear.

Calm is not always taking the easy route.

Calm is not forcing yourself to meditate or be still.

Calm is not cutting off roads to excitement.

Calm is not living to the ticking clock.

Calm is not overrated.

Calm is within us all.   ~Fearne Cotton

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WHEN I was presented with a pile of non-fiction books to review, this one stood out the most for me. I think we naturally gravitate towards the things that we feel may improve our lives in some way, shape or form, and being so incredibly busy – I was attracted to the peaceful blue lettering on this book’s cover. The word: CALM.

As someone who is constantly on, even in purposefully restful moments, there’s this sense of wasted time if I don't fill it doing something – even in semi-repose in an attempt to relax. Reading a self-help book about finding that quiet space I felt would provide both the insight and just the right amount of mental activity so I could still remain in my comfort zone of semi action. 

I firmly believe we all need calm in our lives, and this is something that comes from within. For me personally, I am looking to tap into a state of calm – of the ‘not-unconscious’ variety. 

It would be easy to bring down the blinds and get under the covers for a mid afternoon nap when it all becomes a little overwhelming, but let’s face it, with a demanding career, children and pets (among other things) to juggle, a nap is an occasional weekend luxury. 

My curiosity was piqued on how I could incorporate that feeling of being expansive yet grounded in my every day, especially in the din that is a frantic, working newsroom.

The author’s name may be familiar to some – Fearne Cotton is an English television and radio presenter who has presented television programmes such as Top of the Pops, The Xtra Factor, and Love Island among others. While Malaysian audiences and readers may not be particularly familiar with her, she is a household name in the UK. 

In 2018, Cotton began presenting Happy Place, a podcast available to streaming platforms. 'Calm' is the follow-up to her Sunday Times bestseller 'Happy: Finding joy in every day and letting go of perfect'.

'Calm: Working through life’s daily stresses to find a peaceful centre', was published in 2017, and is Fearne Cotton's endeavor to find the simple things that can inch us away from stress and over to a place of serenity and centredness. The back cover reveals that this book includes “expert advice, conversations with wise friends from all walks of life, easy ideas to try, activities to complete – and the little things that have made a difference to her own, sometimes-bumpy life.” 

What I really liked about this book is the easy, conversational tone and very good writing. Cotton describes what anyone with a busy mind and the tendency to overthink and over analyse things go through – from the way our minds, when we finally do begin to relax and quieten, is suddenly reminded of the items left uncrossed on our mental to-do list. 

It is that nagging inner voice that escalates issues unresolved (bills, exercise regimes, work deadlines, fraught relationships with others, etc) to the point where our bodies react with stress and anxiety. Where is that delicious state of calm now? 

Sometimes, we never truly get to feel that state as our bodies are so used to being in a low-key state of tension, that feeling calm – in all its true sense and meaning – is an unfamiliar condition for our minds and body.

Well, if you’ve lost touch with that state of inner serenity, Cotton not only has her own recommendations on how to tune into your body to take stock of where you’re holding tension, she advocates good eating, yoga, exercise, how to breathe properly to induce calm and release stress, the importance of sleep hygiene, and even journaling your thoughts. 

Writing down the things that bother you before you hit the pillow at night can be very therapeutic. There are a number of exercises in the book that you can try, and even workshop – with space for you to write down (and even illustrate) your feelings and findings. 

Her experiences are all relatable – we all have situations that can wreck our sense of calm – work stress, marriage and raising families, new relationships, change in life circumstances, your environment, even ‘un-calm’ friends. Cotton explores all these situations and shares her own story of stress and chaos and the inner work and outer changes she made to get to what she calls the ‘good stuff’.

Throughout, she interviews various experts: 5-element acupuncturist Gerad Kite, GP Annette Twigg (on panic attacks and why some people have them, and what we can do when we’re experiencing them), breathing coach Rebecca Dennis, professional declutterer Kate Ibbotson, and celebrity friend Russel Brand - that incredibly quick-witted, articulate comedian, actor, radio host, writer and activist, who despite sometimes appearing frantic and disheveled, is a great thinker and meditator with much wisdom to dispense.

Brand states, when asked about how he stays calm in the spotlight, both good and bad: 

“By recognising that what other people think of me is none of my business. This sense of independence is easier to achieve when I feel inwardly connected and I am not looking to external sources of validation.”

And it is just that. If we all can make it to being centred in our own being, and being in the moment, not worrying about the past or the future (too much), we too may find that inner peace.

In all, this is a lovely book for anyone looking for guidance and a little help juggling the chaos of life. It’s an easy read and a book you can pick up for 5 minutes at a time. I particularly enjoy her honest, descriptive and witty writing style and the practical advice she shares. 

This book is a friendly reminder that calm is a place that exists in us all, we just have to find our way back to it. – The Vibes, March 18, 2021

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