LANGKAWI – The five-hour difference between Malaysia and Ukraine has become an agonising daily wait as Ukrainians here hang on to their phones for a simple “hello” from family and friends at risk of being killed during the night air raids.
The routine message has become one to indicate safety while the Russian military continues to press into Ukraine territory.
Uliana, who co-owns a restaurant here, told The Vibes that the first exchange of the day is a text message asking her family members if they are still alive.
There is no ‘good morning’ because there is nothing good about it. We live in anxiety as we wait for the morning in Ukraine, not knowing if the people we love survived the night.
“Here, we can barely sleep because of messages updating us on where the air raids and bombings are happening during the night. And it is not just one location – reports we get show that bombings can happen at 12 cities simultaneously,” she said.
Every day she receives messages from family members who are making life and death decisions whether to escape the city under siege or wait it out.
Uliana’s mother, who is recovering from two operations and considered to be disabled, will not be able to escape in time to the military base with her grandparents if the attack reaches her city.
When the attack first started Uliana isolated herself, crying, bursting out in anger and could not stomach any food or even sleep. She also began to experience rapid hair loss.
My breaking point was when my young niece packed to leave her home in Ukraine. She thought she was coming to Malaysia and she video-called me, all excited with her small backpack, telling me that she will go on a plane to come and see me.
“When she reached the bomb shelter, she called me again asking if she is still coming to see me, and she does not like it there.
“What can I say to her? What can I say to her mother? I am safe here in Malaysia, but they are not.”
Uliana also has two family members gone missing. They were working in the rescue team and in the ambulance department. They have been out of contact since the bombings started in the city they were deployed to.
Any lapse in communications can mean life or death for her.
Meanwhile, Anna, a Ukrainian here lost her new apartment in Kyiv due to the invasion but said it was the least of her worries.
“At any other time, losing an apartment would have killed me, and I would probably be crying for days since I worked very hard to get that. It was in a strategic location near Hostomel Airport, the newest airport in Kyiv with direct access to the heart of the city.
My loss is not that bad as my parents are still alive.”
For fear of the safety of their families, they refused to provide their full names and photos.
Grieving for their country
Constantly bombarded with news of the horrors of war, Uliana and Anna admitted that their mental health is also under siege.
To cope, Uliana tried to practice breathing techniques advised by psychologists but said it has been in vain.
“There are moments when you simply cannot breathe.”
Anna, whose hometown is close to the border of Russia and Belarus, told The Vibes that this war did not come as a surprise to her, just that it happened so soon.
“Nowadays when people ask where I am from, I don’t feel like saying I am from Ukraine because it will spark a conversation. I don’t think it is fair for those who are asking to share my grief.
“I can talk for hours and days about this because that is all I think about, it is all I worry about. When I hear about war, like in Syria, I feel sorry for them, but I realised I did not have any idea about the anguish war brings. Now I understand deeply.
“If I ever meet anyone who is in a similar situation, I will give all I can to support them because now I know.”
As for Uliana, she decided to channel her grief by organising a donation drive to send medical and daily supplies to Ukraine’s border with Poland in hopes they reach those who need it most.
“Even if one item can save one life, I will feel that this is worth it.
“So many people there need these supplies and they cannot leave the country. Some choose to escape, and some choose to hide. Everyone is taking a risk, and both carry the risk of death.”
Uliana’s husband, a Luxembourger who wants to be known as Thierry, hopes that Malaysia will be open to allowing family members of Ukrainians living in Malaysia to seek refuge here.
For Anna and Uliana, they do not know if they have a place to go home to when the war ends. As it is, their hometowns, cherished places, heritage buildings, and favourite hang-outs have been destroyed. – The Vibes, March 7, 2022
