“To experience some kind of otherworldly state – a collective coming together of energies that is perhaps – Transcendental.
This is why I Dance.” – Mavin Khoo
THE rhythmic pulse articulated through the moving body has served us as a means of expression, devotion, seduction, performance and transcendence for centuries.
From tribal communities in the Amazon forest, temple dancers in the courts of South India, French aristocrats in the courts of King Louis XIV, old Hollywood icons like the Nicholas Brothers to performances that occur daily in the major theatres of the world alongside clubbers that storm the nightlife of clubs every weekend: dance, quite simply, is an ‘intangibly tangible’ human need. In some instances, it is acknowledged, though most of the time, it is simply assumed.
I use the idea of the ‘intangibly tangible’ in order to give a sense of the many things that can’t be seen but can be felt through Dance, both to the dancer and the viewer. Ironic, when describing something that is expressed through the physicality of the body, as it moves to create shapes and forms that are visible through space. However, it is the ‘experiential’ that comes with it, and that cannot be defined. It is something of the fluidly that shifts through us like an invisible dancing partner, demanding a sharing and focusing of energy.
Energy.
Here lies the root, for me, of this wondrous thing called Dance.
For me, there are two memories that stand out clearly for presenting those ‘light bulb’ moments of revelation to me. Interestingly, they were not from a performance or a rehearsal but rather from the simple act of prayer and surrender.
Memory:
It was the first time I experienced a state of semi-conscious trance. It was the yearly ritual at the temple of Mother Kali.
‘You are chosen’ – she said
‘You will carry water from the Ganges and lead the procession…
You will then climb up the temple roof and bathe the temple peak’
On the day of the temple festival, I was taken into the inner sanctum to isolate and focus my mind…
There I sat looking into the eyes of the Goddess
Outside, the ‘melam’ – ritualistic drums start to play
Earthy, grounded…the rhythm gets louder
I am washed in turmeric water – cleansing myself of sin
‘Om shakti – para shakti’ they chant in my ears
‘Dance…Dance!’ my inner voice instructs me
I prepare myself – the trained dancer in me ready to show - in all perfection - all that my body had trained for…my ego ready to prove to be the best at this….
An invisible hand hits each knee (and it was invisible since I saw no one do this)
‘Let go of your ego and Dance’ a voice says in my head…
Earthy and grounded – my beautifully trained legs start to rotate into a parallel position, my classical spine curves in response to the ground…my skills for defining gravity are gone and I feel the earth under my feet as I start to
stamp and stamp and stamp to the rhythm of the percussion and chants…
She places her hand on my head and I fall to the floor
Blinding white light
And I know I have seen God…there is an energy that tells me so…
Energy.
Memory II:
A few days later, I experienced my second revelation. I was asked to come and dance for Mother Kali. I prepared a beautiful piece of choreography. I rehearsed well and was confident of what I was going to dance.
I stand before the Goddess and start to perform.
The piece finishes and I know I have done well. My technique was clean, and I had articulated the piece with good musicality and interpretation.
She walked into the sanctum and immediately informed me that I would need to come back and dance again.
I was completely in shock! Had I done something wrong? I had been convinced that I would please Her. Had I not spent a lifetime dancing the stories of Gods and being applauded for it?
Instead, I was cautioned. My attempt had revealed a desire to present something ‘beautiful’ through the execution of my Dance, so as to satisfy my personal ego and sense of accomplishment.
‘Mother doesn’t want you to be ‘beautiful’ in front of her. She wants you to dance till your knees break for her. Surrender.’
And so, I came back a few days later.
As I danced in the inner sanctum of our Mother Goddess Kali, the density of heat enveloped me as I began to sweat even before I moved. It was as if Ma was setting a trial fire to determine my focus and singular commitment to the act of surrendering through my Dance.
As I pushed through the repetition of stamping onto the ground I could feel the back on my knees start to buckle under me and internally I surrendered to Her – I had no choice.
Sat on my knees, allowing my breath to follow the pace of extreme heightened inhalation and exhalation – I was drenched in sweat – dripping from head to toe. It was at this point that our spiritual mother Gowri Amma reminded me not to wipe away the sweat, but to dab it.
‘Every bead of sweat is the divine Mother within you coming out as you Dance’.
Sweat.
Energy.
Many a time, we assume without acknowledging the power of this ‘intangibly tangible’ thing called energy in Dance. We see and participate in it much more than we recognise. All with an unspoken desire to experience something more than is.
To experience some kind of otherworldly state – a collective coming together of energies that is perhaps – Transcendental.
This is why I Dance. – The Vibes, April 29, 2021
* One of the leading figures in the classical Indian dance form of Bharatanatyam, Mavin Khoo is Creative Associate director at Akram Khan Company and is also an independent touring artist
Mavin Khoo – Mahakali: Vocals – O.S Arun
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