Entertainment

Jangan pandai-pandai tips: how to survive a horror film

Just in case you find yourself in one of these situations... we solve it with logic

Updated 5 years ago · Published on 16 Jul 2021 8:00AM

Jangan pandai-pandai tips: how to survive a horror film
'Fear Street Part 3: 1666' premieres today on Netflix. – Pic courtesy of Netflix, July 16, 2021

MALAYSIANS love watching the gore and terror that ensue in our favourite horror films. We sign up for the splashes of blood and gruesome murder scenes that keep us on edge and we love imagining ourselves in those scenarios. How would you respond when you find yourself in front of a masked killer with a machete? 

As Eleanor Roosevelt has said, “Learn from the mistakes of others”. We can all learn a thing or two from our favourite horror film characters who don’t exactly make the best decisions. 

Jangan pandai-pandai okay? Here are some tips on how to survive a horror film, featuring some of our favourite scenes from the 'Fear Street Part 1: 1994' and 'Fear Street Part 2: 1978': 

1. When you’re in a dark, empty room - don’t yell “Hello? Is anyone there?”

– Pic courtesy of Netflix
– Pic courtesy of Netflix

There’s probably a killer. We’ve seen this time and time again. If you’re in a pitch dark room and nobody greets you - RUN. 

2. Never answer the phone! Bad things happen to you. 

– Pic courtesy of Netflix
– Pic courtesy of Netflix

In the history of horror films, there hasn’t been a moment in time where somebody answers the phone and says “Hey! How are you?”. It’s usually a death sentence at the other end so best to get them to leave a message. 

3. When you hear a creepy lady voice singing - don't go looking for it. 

– Pic courtesy of Netflix
– Pic courtesy of Netflix

Mariah Carey has left the chat so if you hear any creepy voices singing in the middle of the night - it’s best to just enjoy the tune and bop to the beat from afar. 

4. When you see a man with an axe killing everyone around - don’t run towards him with a knife. 

– Pic courtesy of Netflix
– Pic courtesy of Netflix

Do you know when the right time to be the hero and strike back against the masked killer is? The answer is never - unless you’re a trained assassin or a witch hunter. 

5. Never turn your back on a corpse. Even if you’re sure he’s dead. 

– Pic courtesy of Netflix
– Pic courtesy of Netflix

Because odds are he’s a ruthless killer that’s been brought back from the dead by a thousand-year-old Witch’s curse that’s specifically targeting people in your area. 

6. When you find a map that leads you to a cursed witch’s lair...don’t follow it and explore the creepy caves and dense forests. Just don’t.

– Pic courtesy of Netflix
– Pic courtesy of Netflix

NEVER go looking for trouble. Period. 

7. If your nose starts bleeding, don’t let it drip on anything! 

– Pic courtesy of Netflix
– Pic courtesy of Netflix

Hygiene is important but more eminently, some killers - like sharks - can track you down by sniffing your bloody scent. 

8. Stay away from malls after closing time

– Pic courtesy of Netflix
– Pic courtesy of Netflix

Unless you’re catching a late night movie - listen to your parents and go home. Hanging around in a closed mall just means less of an exit strategy. 

***

Are you prepped and ready to survive another horror film? We hope you are because the third  and final instalment of 'Fear Street Part 3: 1666' premieres July 16, only on Netflix. – The Vibes, July 16, 2021

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