LET’S be honest, nobody likes to be told what to do or change how they would react to a particular situation.
Not when the concern is with regards to denying emotions, which are personal to the individual. It is like censoring liberty or an attempt to if one would look at it extremely.
Even if we talk about change in building quality relationships and encounters on a more surface value, having to go through the process of altering behaviour gets more complex with age due to ingrained habits. Don’t you agree?
To be frank, when I was given the assignment to review author Sam Glenn’s motivational work titled ‘The Gift of Attitude: 10 Ways to Change the Way You Feel’, I was a tad sceptical and not particularly ecstatic because of the whole pompous nature of self-help mechanisms.
I suppose this image is tarnished by the number of motivational speakers parading around under the pretence of boosting morale and energy levels, when in fact the boost needed is the wallet of said speaker’s audience.
Going back to the book in question, the title itself begs the question of; Can one really do it with 10 ways? Is it really that simple?
Mapping the psyche of a pessimistic reader
One must admit with phrases like “better you”, and statements like “… now, it’s up to you”, the strong disdain towards speeches of this kind – and the emphasis of ‘You’ – is what makes a person like myself go “Hah!” because words ring preachy.
We might be the kind of individual who wants to chart our own path, being aware of the risks and merits in the journey – following our hearts and not getting influenced by what someone else has already done.
To be fair, this state of mind is perfectly fine to rock, but realising that it is also where the dilemma of dealing with change lies takes us away from being in a sort of fantasy bubble.
I mean, I certainly find it to be part of the struggle in navigating past and present life events when reflecting on the what if(s).
After over a month of reading Glenn’s book… Well, brushing through the first and studying it for its core messaging the second time, it made me truly ponder the issue of will versus skill (or in this context, ability) differently.
For what it is worth, the author portrays the idea behind his writing through experiences told in several situational settings that could – or maybe has happened –to readers.
I personally have gone through somewhat similar affairs, albeit with differences in the circumstances.
One hopes for the events detailed in ‘The Gift of Attitude’ to be real because the chronicles that are attempting to psychologically coach the perception among its readers would be a gross waste (and abuse) of time despite its colourful narrative.
This is the ‘scoffer’ in me talking in case you are not already aware. But the opportunist side gravitates to the relatability of what the book has presented.
Dissecting negativity and the cost
It is not a surprise that ‘The Gift of Negativity’ is one of my favourite chapters from Glenn’s work, where even the author was not shy in stating it with “…the utmost level of enthusiasm”.
“When you observe negativity or drama, it becomes a teachable example. We can learn from that and apply the lessons…”
Talking about the negative stuff forces one to confront the challenges that life brings and makes a person develop a heightened strength of will, which eventually makes it easy for the attitude to shift.
I believe this chapter is important because the society we live in today tends to overlook the need to stop and look at the ‘gift’ of what a bad attitude would spill into the generations to come.
While I am all for the globalisation of things as we move forward, there is a certain degree of entitlement that we tend to portray, which is fed by the convenience of technology and of course the acceptance of behaviours that has evolved within this era.
Glenn only gave the example of a consequence of a particular confrontation between him and a store manager that had not entertained him over requesting for a possible additional discount for an item that is already categorised on clearance, as a way to highlight the cost of passivity.
But I had expanded the case in a bigger overview and applied it into a context of someone who is in a position of power, who is able to look at the means of accommodating subordinates, or at least the requestor who needs aid, by exploring problem solving approaches that end with mutually beneficial solutions.
For example, when a manager is experiencing a bad employee that is seen struggling to commit to the expectations of his/her manager. Addressing the performance can either be done through two ways;
i) a cold-cut demerit, which puts the employee in cold storage or at risk of further deterrence with an added opposition towards the job and eventually affects retention (turnover) of the company and culture in a bigger picture,
-or-
ii) a performance review exercise of identifying the key indicators that puts the employee in a struggling state, strategise on ways to overcome it together in a peer-to-peer or mentor-mentee coaching method so transparency is established and agreeing on the consequences if the exercise’s goal is not met to create a level playing field for anyone involved in the discussion to be accountable on their individual parts.
The decision in the end would dictate the integrity and expertise of the person who is in a position of power to exercise his/her role in overcoming the challenge because the ball is in their court.
Identifying the triggers and understanding how attitudes are contagious
What is certain is that a negative impact will resonate for a long time, even if the course of time has blanketed when the event took place – remember the phrase ‘forgive, but never forget’?
The author in his book highlights that when a person chooses the right attitude, it becomes a gift to him/herself. A no brainer of course, but the obstacle of a personal struggle one faces may truly be in the way he/she acts.
Glenn pointed out the how to(s) on exterminating ‘termites’ and how certain ‘warriors’ help in creating an encouraging space.
Portraying and sharing the right attitude is a level of generosity that exists to display empathy, either to oneself or others. He highlights that these types of individuals know for a fact that behaviours are relevant to the layers that shape personal and professional environments.
Taking the time to reflect on how conscious we are with our attitudes will enhance our awareness, where it is more than just about control – but harmony with the obscurity of future happenings.
While he notes that a positive attitude does not stop tough times from knocking on your door, “… it does give you the mental muscle to deal with difficulties more effectively”.
More so if we recognise the existing setting we are in, where surrounding attitudes are able to recharge our energy to make us feel our best. This was highlighted in one of the chapters that describes the effects of contagious positivity.
“Your attitude is either in the way, or making a way, and you determine which every day…”
We know all too well that the journey of life is no simple cruise, and what Glenn wants to highlight is how we can use our attitude as a tool to hurt or heal ourselves.
The gift of attitude is shareable and not limited to anyone. The impact may vary but putting it [attitude] at the top of your priority can bring you the wonders of opportunities. – The Vibes, May 27, 2021
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*Find the meaning behind creating exceptional experiences in a vibrant road of self-discovery in ‘The Gift of Attitude: 10 Ways to Change the Way You Feel’ by author Sam Glenn available at the first Malaysia Online Bookstore, www.bookxcessonline.com
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