WHEN we engage in introspection, how often do we truly think about actually being happy instead of just chasing after it?
Before welcoming 2022, many of you reading this surely worked on a list of resolutions aiming to give this new year some sort of purpose.
Along the way, was there a sense of doubt that told you it was getting too long and unviable, almost bordering on the unrealistic?
Well then, consider simplifying what you want by keeping things simple and lowering expectations.
Measuring your steps
By now, it should already be obvious that the pandemic has forced the world to scrutinise itself even more.
While recent headlines, whether international or domestic, certainly do not help in giving assurances, we are currently within a temporary high headspace that soothes whatever form of anxiety or stress we have looking ahead.
It’s best to prepare ourselves in navigating our reality more empathetically within our own capacity, as we take stock of our surroundings and determine whether the reflection is a competitive enough compensation.
The way people approach resolutions without having a plan and understanding the reason they set that goal in the first place. At times, not even factoring in failure leads them to give up when it’s broken.
Achieve one small goal at a time, and it can be as simple as waking up and making your bed.
If you are looking for a new job, break down the process into how many hours you want to put into browsing through available roles, filling applications, setting up your calendar for interviews etc. Break it down to measurable steps and remember the experience should not be a hike.
There can be a tendency to try to rush for results with our goals, as has been seen in maintaining a diet or gym/fitness culture.
Practice self-compassion and acknowledge when some goals feel less achievable because of various life challenges outside of your control, like pandemic setbacks and public health restrictions.
Quit living on a mandate to ‘fix’ yourself
The prospect of a ‘clean slate’ in the new year can help people stay motivated, but it would be futile to repeat this idea yearly without looking at the useful insights of what we have learned – strengths and triggers – from our experiences to make our lives feel more meaningful.
No one should move onward without understanding themselves better first, whether it is to change or not change at all.
If you don’t find it to be significant then unfortunately the pleasurable sense of growth in your life journey that you seek may be incomplete.
Setting goals and making room for reflection can positively shape our lives, but resolutions as we have largely been made or told to practice are far more about poking at our perceived shortcomings than building our lives into a shape that feels actively good.
The next time you want to say/think ‘I’m going to achieve this within this year…’, look at how you are engaging your so-called resolutions and be mindful of the – extrinsic and intrinsic – opportunities you are denying.
Try not to force yourself to conform to a calendar (over springing forth from organic cycles of change) in the process. – The Vibes, January 1, 2022
