WE suck at living this life alone. We are built to live in a community, not in isolation.
If there’s anything the past year – and counting – has taught me, it’s the power of choice: to choose to rise above challenges, even if it means being the one to reach out when you’re feeling forgotten. This is easier said than done.
But at the end of the day, your headspace is prime real estate. It’s not worth letting others’ lack of action (or possibly, busyness) dictate your life.
This was a discussion I had with fellow The Vibes columnist Atilia Haron on her Instagram series Tia Talks last weekend. We chatted about being performing artistes, and how we set our priorities and discipline in this season of constant change. We both agreed that having a community of people who build you up is important.
It made me reflect on all the female friendships I’ve had throughout my adulthood. With International Women’s Day celebrated recently, I took some time to ponder and be thankful for each relationship.
Some were brief, while others lasted longer. Regardless of the duration, I learnt a life lesson from each of these women, whom I call (or called) my community.
In light of this year’s International Women’s Day theme, #ChooseToChallenge, here are some takeaways I gathered and hope you’ll find empowering.
Don’t dwell on the past
You have so much more to offer than wasting the present moment thinking about lost opportunities or friendships.
Be the bigger person who reaches out to others. Go through the contacts in your phone and find someone who might not be in your inner circle. Send a text message to check in on them.
You never know how a simple “Hey, how have things been lately?” could have an impact on someone.
Support people in different ways
I talked about support in an earlier article, and how everyone shows support for others differently. Sometimes, as women, we tend to quickly write others off.
“Why hasn’t she texted me lately, does she not care?”
“They only seem to reach out when they want something.”
These may sound like a familiar train of thought. We are all different, so why not learn what makes your friends feel best supported and celebrate their uniqueness?
Choose to celebrate yourself
I beta-launched my small business website this past week and had expected more friends to be excited along with me. But the response from people I thought would be my cheerleaders was underwhelming.
When I got over the disappointment, however, I realised that I needed to celebrate my own accomplishments and discipline in working towards my goals.
Choose today
We can get caught up in what others are doing. Don’t get me wrong; cheering someone on towards their wins is an important part of a community. However, if it’s dragging you to “woe is me” land, then it’s not productive.
Focus on what you’re doing today and don’t compare your start with someone else’s middle.
So today, choose to boldly take up space through your movement, your voice, your presence. Join me on the mat with this “larger than life” Pilates sequence, and let’s move together!
P.S.: If you’re looking for a community of women to move with through Pilates – and whatever life throws at you – reach out to me at @madetomovestudio. You’re not made to move through life alone! - The Vibes, 17 March, 2021
