IF you are a happy-go-lucky person, congratulations, you are naturally immune to harsh comments and you simply disregard them with a shrug of a shoulder. However, if you’re anything like me, you would tend to overthink and fret over someone’s comment about you. So, here are some of the ways which I find to be very useful in becoming more mentally resilient to criticisms.
1. Put your emotions aside
When we hear bad things said about us, we tend to get really upset and emotional. Anger fogs our brain and we are unable to think clearly. Hence, we might start to resent the person who made that comment and think that they are simply trying to make us feel bad (in most cases people are just trying to help). What we should do is, filter through our clouded thoughts and stare straight at the comment (in this sense, think properly about the comment without adding any emotion to it). Ask yourself, is what that person said true? If it is, how can I change? How can I improve? And if it is not true, there’s no reason for you to get angry at all. Like I said, we often let our emotions take charge of us and not our thinking brain because it takes less effort. So the next time someone criticises you, say thank you because they are actually helping you become better at the thing you’re doing.
2. Be thick-skinned
Now, being thick-skinned is often frowned upon. And it should be because it is not a good characteristic to have when dealing with people. However, in this context, you have to be more thick-skinned and immune to the criticisms you get. You have to learn how to put a MAGICAL SHIELD around you as shown below. What goes in is only useful information. What is reflected back outside is the way that person made the comment, or if any bad words that made you uncomfortable are in there. Don’t listen to that, those are not the important points. This is much easier said than done. But just as with anything, the more you train your brain to accept criticisms in a different light, the more natural it is for you to pick out the useful information.
3. Look at the problem in a third-person view
It’s easy to get angry or upset when people talk about us because, well, they’re talking about us. But what if someone spoke badly about your friend? Sure, you might feel bad for your friend, but you wouldn’t take it personally. Ideally, that’s how you should be when criticisms are thrown at you. Take a step back and dodge them like a boss. Just kidding, accept those criticisms, but think through them like an outsider. More often than not, you will find yourself handling the situation better and you won’t act impulsively. In fact, most of the time when you have exploded in front of someone, you would think about it again once you have calmed down and find yourself so foolish and silly. This method is good to avoid situations like that.
So there you have it, a few ways to become a more happy-go-lucky person and be more immune to comments that affect you negatively. Everyone has different ways of encouraging you, even as horrible as it may sound, they mean well and genuinely want you to improve. For example, when your coach keeps scolding you, I know that it can be tough to filter through the horrible comments, but just remember, all they want is for you to improve and become a better player. Say thank you, and work hard to prove him/her wrong. As my coach always says," You can't control other's mouths, so try not to get too upset about what they say." - The Vibes. May 18, 2021
