FATHERS and sons. Brother to brother. These are two of the most important relationships in a man’s life, of which we build our personalities and beliefs to contrast against or strive to emulate, either consciously or subconsciously. It’s complicated.
Raymond & Ray, a new film premiering on Apple TV+ this weekend, written and directed by Rodrigo Garcia, explores these sometimes thorny relationships in a sometimes humorous, though always empathetic way.
Raymond (Ewan McGregor) and Ray (Ethan Hawke) are two half-brothers who haven’t seen each other in years, with the former currently separated from his third wife and the latter a lapsed jazz musician dealing with the aftermath of addiction.
Raymond brings news that their estranged father Harris has just died and they need to settle the funeral arrangements.
Neither sibling is particularly enthused about it, each having their own complicated and decidedly negative view of the family patriarch. The way they tell it, he was not a good father to them, capable of both physical and emotional abuse.
But as they journey to the town of Richmond, where their dad called home for the past few years, they encounter more and more people who have nothing but kind words to say about Harris. Their descriptions of him do not match the memories the two brothers have. Their father is described as a gregarious and curious personality.
At the mortuary Raymond and Ray are greeted with even stranger news, apparently it was their father’s last wish that they dig his grave and bury him themselves. This odd circumstance has the two brothers really come to terms with their relationship to their distant father, as well as adding a darkly comical touch to the movie.
That’s really what sets Raymond & Ray apart, in that even though from a certain angle this could be a heavy story, there is a level of mirth that keeps the darkness at bay, though it’s really always below the surface. Over the course of the day at the cemetery, arguments are had and revelations come to light, as the past is dealt with as best as it can.
What the film is really exploring is our ever-growing relationship with our parents, one that continues to develop even when they are no longer with us. How much do we truly know about them as people? How do we square what we know about them as their child with the stories we hear from others? Can we truly distance ourselves and be our own people? (No.)
As Raymond, McGregor is the more tightly wound of the brothers, he’s come to accept his shortcomings and just wants to forgive his father. Ray, on the other hand, is more a tortured soul, with Hawke embodying an anger that’s the result of abuse and neglect. Funny enough, the two actors look quite similar to one another and very quickly establish a believable sibling dynamic that forms the backbone of the film.
Lucia (Maribel Verdú), the sometimes lover who took care of the ailing Harris in his last years, and Kiera (Sophie Okonedo), the hospital nurse who attended to him, round out the cast as two women who help the brothers see a different side to their father. These are clearly supporting roles in the story, but we still get a sense of them as people, looking in on a quite odd funeral ceremony.
Ultimately, Raymond & Ray is a meditation on how relationships can change as we go through our lives, as well as how hard it is to truly know someone, even if you are close to them. No one’s really an open book, always only showing a part of themselves. Forgiveness and understanding come from realising this point. – The Vibes, October 23, 2022
