Women

What I learned when “wellness” stopped working for me

Over time, many women become experts at functioning… while quietly disappearing.

Updated 5 months ago · Published on 21 Mar 2026 8:58AM

What I learned when “wellness” stopped working for me
The woman who could hold a lot — quietly — without needing much. - AI generated picture, March 21, 2026

by Liv Golding

FOR a long time, I thought wellness meant being the calm and regulated one.

The grounded one. The capable one.

The woman who could hold a lot — quietly — without needing much.

And maybe that worked … until it didn’t.

Because eventually I realised I wasn’t living in my body. I was managing it.

Managing my energy.

Managing my reactions.

Managing the room.

Managing the version of me everyone expected.

I didn’t need a better routine.

I needed a truer relationship with myself.

This is the kind of realisation that sits within the book I’m releasing — the part people don’t always see from the outside: the slow shift from “I’ll cope” to “I want to come home to myself.”

Not dramatically.

Not perfectly.

Just honestly.

A lot of women I know aren’t burnt out because they’re doing nothing for themselves.

They’re burnt out because they’re doing all the right things … from the wrong place.

From pressure.

From performance.

From proving.

So even rest becomes a task.

Even self-care becomes something to get right.

If you’ve ever felt that, you’re not alone.

The One Practice I Return To…

When I’m scattered, short-fused, or feel like I’m “fine” but not really… I return to this:

The 90-Second Body Check-In

You don’t need silence. You don’t need incense. You don’t need a full meditation.

Just 90 seconds.

Hand to chest or belly.

Ask: “What am I feeling — without editing it?”

Ask: “What do I need in the next hour, not the next year?”

Choose one tiny action that meets the need.

Water. A walk. A boundary. A message asking for help. A no.

That’s it.

Not a transformation.

A return.

It’s not a concept. It’s a practice.

How Is This Tied to Motherhood?

Motherhood doesn’t just change your schedule.

It changes your nervous system.

It asks you to hold more, feel more, respond more — often without enough space to be held yourself.

And over time, many women become experts at functioning… while quietly disappearing.

This work — the real work — is learning to be present without abandoning yourself.

That’s the thread I’ll keep pulling here.

If you’re feeling this like this resonates, let me know and share with a friend. I’m looking forward to connecting with you more on these topics. - March 21, 2026

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