Off beat

The 10 worst Secret Santa gifts you could give and get

All I want for Christmas is... not a sack of potatoes

Updated 4 years ago · Published on 25 Dec 2021 12:00PM

The 10 worst Secret Santa gifts you could give and get
Secret Santa can be a fun way to oil the social wheels of the office during the festive season. – Pexels pic, December 25, 2021

by Lili Ibrahim

THE trailing days of December mean a time for holidays, tying up of loose ends, and... the inevitable office Secret Santa. 

Most workplaces would set a reasonable budget for the tradition. Could one find a useful and charming gift for less than say, RM20? Experience has shown that at times, this may not be the case. 

Secret Santa can be traced back to the American philanthropist Larry Dean Stewart. When he was a broke fresh graduate in the 1960s, he was so hungry he ordered a sandwich in a cafe and pretended he'd lost money. When the cafe owner saw through his ruse, he gave Stewart the sandwich for free. 

Stewart went on to become a millionaire in the telecommunications industry, but he never forgot his humble beginnings. He was said to have roamed the streets in December handing out money anonymously. This kickstarted the Secret Santa tradition that many now enjoy across the world. 

In no particular order, here’s a list of the worst Secret Santa presents that you can surprise your colleagues with: 

1. An 'interactive' drinkware of scantily dressed women. Remember friends, what you find funny may not translate very well on your unsuspecting colleague. 

2. Coal. Just, no. 

3. Asymptomatic family member. In the time of Covid, it’s best we get ourselves tested regularly in order to not be a carrier. 

4. Nothing. That’s right... while it may happen to the best of us, proper planning will help you avoid this mishap.

5. Age-specific, medicated ointments. Steer clear of playing pharmacist and diagnosing your receiver’s undetected ailments. 

6. A toilet brush. While useful, it may not particularly generate feelings of merriment.

7. COD. Imagine – a gift being sent using the cash on delivery method and the gift recipient having to foot the bill. Have we as a society stooped so low?

8. A gift that does not serve any purpose to its recipient. This bears repeating – no combs for the bald, no winter scarves for tropical climes – you get the idea. 

9. A calculator… for the head of finance. While this may seem like a calculated risk, he or she might not appreciate the sentiment. 

10. Potatoes. Yes, spuds may make for hearty meals, but it sure takes guts to gift someone a full sack.

Good, cheap gifts exist. It may take some research – as simple as asking your colleagues what they would like – and time. Secret Santa can be a fun way to oil the social wheels of the office during the festive season. 

Getting something useful is also doing be your part for Mother Nature. A less-thought out item may not be sustainable and end up in landfills. – The Vibes, December 25, 2021

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