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VALENTINE'S Day this morning started with me rolling around in my king-sized bed, laughing at memes.
From crippling loneliness, dating phallic vegetables to actively and violently avoiding Cupid’s arrow, these are just some reminders that hit a little too close to home but are ridiculous enough to warrant a bark of laughter.
When V Day was innocent and less complicated
In all my years, the only time I think I truly enjoyed Valentine’s Day was in school.
In primary school, card exchanges were supervised by open-minded teachers and kids were encouraged to include everyone, so no one felt the stinging rejection of being an unfanciable loser.
One year I received a card that included a toy ring from one ‘FS’. Though inwardly chuffed, I was way too immature to appreciate this as a sweet declaration of affection and egged on by my equally infantile mates, chased the offending boy around the school yard trying to give him his love token back.
At my all-girls secondary boarding school, things went a little more bizarrely.
Enterprising students sold bouquets, candy and singing telegrams you could send to the object of your crush (anonymously or signed). It was all very amusing, and as I understand it, the tradition lives on. I guess even back then we were actually quite progressive.
For florists, jewellers, and chocolatiers, this is one of a few calendar events to look forward to since V Day has become a whole industry itself. Even at the time of writing this, I am on a waitlist for a table to just enjoy a simple meal tonight.
This is no thanks to the hapless husbands, boyfriends, and lovers gearing up to top their previous year’s romantic efforts!
Perpetuating a cycle of unrealistic standards about love
Here’s the thing. I’m finding that these days I am surrounded by more unattached people than couples. Those too young to be serious about commitment, an ever-expanding pool of divorced singletons, and believe it or not, widows and widowers – make up my present social circle.
I can count the genuinely happy couples in said circle on one and a half hands. The rest, I believe, are grinning and bearing it for their Facebook friends and acquaintances.
We all want love and romance, but for the unattached, most of us are quite happy with the comfortable kinship that true friendship provides.
Growing up on a steady diet of Disney films and coming of age pop culture references, the idea of romance has always been painted with a knight in shining armour, bad-boy turns good, and grandiose gestures to prove utter devotion – which with the hindsight of a middle-aged lens, seems to be borderline obsessive and cringeworthy.
Love to me now is a very different animal than when I first understood what the word meant. In the context of Valentine’s Day, love is not about presents, but presence – showing up for your partner, every day in every way.
And for those without a sweetheart, who is to say that friends can’t offer that?
For me, my most enjoyable moments are spending time with friends over food and good music. The company I keep supports me in many ways, without the complications of an emotional entanglement.
I mean, would I be singing a different tune if I were attached? Would I also be Instagramming photos of received bouquets and gushing floridly about my partner? Probably not.
My disposition in these matters are somewhat more subdued and verge on the humorous. I suspect I would still be enjoying life.
There is a reason why some agree that Valentine’s Day for singles is a celebration of independence.
Instead of wallowing in your sheets, questioning why you’re not with anybody, try finding the humour in everyone else’s subscription towards this day.
You are fine. – The Vibes, February 14, 2022
