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Managing up: the art of managing your relationship with your supervisor

The manager/managed relationship is a two-way street

Updated 3 years ago · Published on 22 Aug 2023 11:00AM

Managing up: the art of managing your relationship with your supervisor
The idea of managing your manager is nothing new, but it's back in vogue on TikTok. – ETX Daily Up pic, August 22, 2023

YOUNG people may discuss their career aspirations more openly than older generations, but they are just as eager for advice on how to achieve them. One reason for this is that many of them feel powerless when faced with managers who may pressure them to show their commitment by demonstrating a kind of over-investment in their job. A method termed "managing up" has been coined in response.

The term "managing up" refers to improving the quality of your relationship with your immediate manager. In other words, learning how to manage your direct supervisor. Being on good terms with your manager is essential for both professional fulfillment and career advancement. Salary increases, promotions and being assigned interesting missions – your direct supervisor can influence all these things.

Therefore it's better to make them into an ally than a source of additional stress. Because, despite what you might think, a manager's influence doesn't stop at the office.

Nearly seven out of 10 employees say their manager has as much influence on their psychological state as their spouse or partner, according to a survey of 3,400 employees in ten countries conducted by UKG's Workforce Institute.

How can you be sure that you're "managing" your supervisor effectively? First and foremost, it's key to establish a constructive dialogue. The manager/managed relationship is a two-way street, so you need to agree on a way of working that suits both parties. Explain your way of working and clarify your manager's expectations and needs. But be careful not to go overboard: agreeing to do unpaid overtime or work during your vacations is not so much proof of your professional commitment as of your inability to establish boundaries. In the long run, you risk being under pressure and burning out.

As career coach Mari Carmen Pizarro explains on TikTok, managing your superior should above all enable you to "get what [you] need to do a better job."

@maricarmeninternational Here’s why managing up will work in your favor! #leadershipdevelopment #leadershiptok #careercoach #corporatelife #corporategirl #ceomindset #womeninbusiness #careertok #leadershipskills ♬ original sound - Mari Carmen Pizarro

Manager, a position that is losing its lustre

While the idea of managing your supervisor is nothing new, it's back in vogue on TikTok. The social network is full of videos on the subject, gathered under the hashtag #managingup. With no fewer than 5.6 million views on the platform, the concept is proving popular with the younger generation. While most of the career and leadership coaches on TikTok praise the merits of this strategy, some internet users are far more critical of how valuable it actually is.

"It is not the responsibility to wrangle them and push them to become a better manager. It is a manager's responsibility to learn the skills and access the tools that are needed to be a better manager for the people on their team," explains consultant Kashia Dunner in a video viewed over 63,000 times on the social network.

@kash.ia i say this as someone who has been a people manager on multiple occassions - if someone has to “manage up” when they report to me, i’m not doing great and need to recalibrate because my actions arent allowing them to reach their greatness. #managingup #badbosses #toxicboss #corporatesaddies #corporatelife #9to5problems #workculture #managersbelike #blackincorporateamerica #accountabilitycheck #gototherapy ♬ original sound

Many internet users share this opinion.

"Be wary, if you manage up, you eventually 'become' the manager, and more responsibility will flow your way when all you needed was a good manager," comments one of them under another Kashia Dunner video on the subject.

Becoming a supervisor of other people means taking on responsibilities that many workers are no longer interested in taking on. According to the 2023 edition of a French barometer, Alan, on mental well-being in the workplace, two out of three employees do not wish to occupy this position during their career. Managers themselves recognise that their jobs are more difficult to perform than in the past, and therefore less attractive. 

So it's hard to find good supervisors, in fact it's hard to find supervisors at all. It's in this complex organisational context that the "managing up" method comes into play. However much it may be criticised, it has the advantage of drawing attention to the need for dialogue within the company, whether between employees and their managers, or those who appoint them. After all, supervisors are employees too, and they also have an immediate manager to deal with. Even if it means having to manage them. – ETX Daily Up, August 22, 2023

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