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“IT’S not going to be me” is by far the most common misconception when it comes to major ordeals like heart attacks, cancer and now, Covid-19.
We so often take for granted the little things in life that it is only when we are face-to-face with death than we realise.
Unfortunately, in the eyes of Covid-19, neither age, race nor gender is discriminated against. And head of PLUS Malaysia’s Strategic Stakeholder Engagement, Syed Mohammed Idid, learned this the hard way.
As the one in charge of setting up all the SOPs within the office, and the advocate to strictly adhere to those set SOPs, it came as a shock when he got the news that he tested positive.
What started as an uneasy feeling after visiting a site in Johor where two staff had been tested positive, was then overridden after a few days when no symptoms arose.
However, after breakfast with the family a few days later, he injured his heel and soon experienced fluctuating temperatures. Thinking that it was due to the pain he felt from his injury, he saw the doctor the following day who suspected it could be dengue.
Only during his second visit to the doctor, he was advised to take the swab test and when his dengue results came back negative, waited a painstakingly long 24 hours. And when he didn’t receive a call back after the set amount of time, his wife called and that’s when they received the heart-dropping news.
In the beginning, he was able to self-quarantine in his master bedroom. Though that may sound like a better alternative to being warded, it was where Syed Idid started to reflect more on the little things that he and many others have taken for granted in life.
Not being able to see or hug his daughters, five and seven years old each, all he could do was hear them through the door, wishing and begging to see their father. Being so near yet so far was miles away from ideal.
With his food delivered to him and left outside his door, he felt like he could finally empathise with the Man in the Iron Mask.
His fever continued to fluctuate, and his body started aching and soon after, he started to lose his sense of taste and smell. His condition deteriorated so severely that he could barely eat a soft strawberry sandwich that he requested his wife to buy.
With each passing day, his colleagues and older twin daughters, who are studying medicine, also noticed that his breathing was getting shorter. And it was then that they all decided that it would be best that he get admitted to the Sungai Buloh hospital.
It was in the process of packing where Syed Idid truly felt all the little things that he had taken for granted in life. Folding clothes never used to hurt – now every muscle in his body was in pain. Eating a soft sandwich used to be pleasurable but was now an impossible chore. Even hugging and just being with his family.
“It was this time when Allah really showed me all the little things that we so often take for granted.”
But nothing could have prepared him for what would come next.
The ambulance that was supposed to pick him up at 3pm only arrived at 6.30pm. But before pointing fingers and assuming that they were incompetent, Syed Idid found out that the ambulance that he was taking had already made 27 trips before his.
“I think the entire Covid mobile system is extremely stressed out.”
He explained how when the ambulance came to get him, his family cleared the way for him to pass. As Syed Idid was making his way out the door, he could hear his family shouting well wishes to him. It especially pained him when he heard his younger daughter pining to see him.
“I could hear the small girls calling out ‘We love you!’, ‘Come back soon.’ And as I stepped out of the gate, [there was] the sudden realisation that, if you go and don’t come back, you didn’t even get to touch or hug your family,
“I was scrambling to recall all the images of my family from all the video calls that we had while I was quarantined in my bedroom, and I started to cry.”
Upon entering the ambulance, he met a mother and a young child as well; and that’s when he truly believed that the coronavirus does not discriminate.
Although the child was not a positive patient, the mother had to bring her along because no one at home could take care of her. Both parents were tested positive and the father was warded at another hospital.
Syed Idid recollected his journey to the Sungai Buloh Hospital and shared how surreal it felt sitting at the back of the ambulance, watching the toll plaza that they had to take, getting further away from him.
“Usually at a toll, we usually look ahead as we approach it and then have our back towards it as we drive past. But this time, it felt weird looking forward but with the toll getting further and further away from me.”
When he finally arrived at the hospital, he had to trudge through the pain and walk himself to the ward with the bag that he packed. And throughout his long walk to the ward, he felt like he was being treated unfairly and was complaining to Allah, “Why do I have to go through this?”
And with an answer from God, he saw frontliners slumped on a wooden bench outside the hall.
“Then it dawned on me, the message is, 'You get through this and get better and come out of it. But the frontliners, they only get to rest for a while before they have to go through the same battles, just to make sure you get up',” said Syed Idid.
This gave him the strength to fight through this ordeal, and throughout his time being warded, he was extremely grateful for all the doctors, nurses and medical frontliners.
Syed Idid shared how throughout his ordeal, he didn't realise the severity of his wife’s stress until it was all over.
She shared with him how there was not a day where she didn’t cry, not knowing if she would ever see him again.
“I want to share that you may think lightly of it (Covid-19), but the gravity is very heavy, and heaven forbid you get it.
“And what is more damaging, even if you get it, you don’t realise the impact it has on your loved ones.”
That being said, Syed Idid believes that the new norm is more than just the SOPs set in place, but that we start to take more time to be considerate with others.
“Even if you don't believe in the vaccine or the virus, other people do and think about them instead, do it for them.
“Truth of the matter is, we are all going to die. As a Muslim, you are wrapped up in a white cloth, the kafan, when you pass away. Right now, the choice is either to be wrapped in a kafan with your family around you or rolled up in a plastic sheet without your family around you.”
With that, Syed Idid hopes that people stop taking this pandemic ever so lightly, and to do our part in helping ourselves, the medical frontliners, and everyone else around us.
“It’s about time we stop bickering about when we are going to get vaccinated, just exhaust all avenues to get it and keep trying. Hopefully, this pandemic will soon become endemic." – The Vibes, June 29, 2021
