Celebrating responsible fatherhood through open dialogue

IT takes complete dad-ication to exemplify the numerous ways fathers can persevere for their children.

But the word father here does not only limit to biological definitions but extends across to whoever is tirelessly fulfilling the role – be it brothers, uncles, grandfathers, and guardians to whoever they are offering a haven and support.

In conjunction with Father’s Day, Better Dads Malaysia together with Pertubuhan Ikram Malaysia hosted an online forum via Facebook with the title ‘Fathers are family heroes: Building resilience among fathers’.

The event was officiated by National Population and Family Development Board (LPPKN) director general Abdul Shukur Abdullah. He was joined by Ikram president Badlishah Sham Baharin and Better Dads Malaysia chairman Joshua Hong.

Putting fathers’ mental health into perspective

Badlishah shared in his opening speech that the role of a father is undeniably important.

“Studies have shown that a father's involvement in the early stages of a child’s life beginning from infancy can bring beneficial outcomes,” he said.

“This would result in positive character building (onto the child) as well as physical and mental health quality.

“Having said this, we often forget to note that fathers need to begin by also taking charge of their own mental and emotional resilience to be able to take care of their families under the proper capacities in return,” he added.

According to the Ikram president, stories of children having to go through anxiety and societal pressures in silence while parents are busy making ends meet are nothing new.

“What’s equally concerning is that these parents may be suffering from mental stress too.

“Looking at the role of a father in maintaining a balance and harmony within a family unit, it is important for an individual to look at how well they are adapting to change, trauma, tragedy, uncertainty etc.

“This is very necessary to help the rest of the family navigate and manage any sort of stress, given that a father would usually be seen as the compass for the next best steps,” said Badlishah.

“Our instinct tells us to be a protector and provider. But before we are even able to exercise our roles, having a strong grasp of our mental health is likely to be more important than the absence of disease(s),” said Hong.

“What resilience here means is the ability for us to not allow ourselves to dwell on the negativity of our struggles. Approaching hurdles more compassionately and without fuss.

“We hope this forum is able to serve as a reference point for dads to help them make sense of their role and how important it is,” he added.

Badlishah then further highlighted that a productive population or the stability of a society is often linked to the quality of family relationships, “… and with such great responsibility fatherhood possesses, comes greater commitment to not take matters for granted.

“I would invite all fathers out there, including myself, to relook at our roles and not push certain responsibilities onto women (who support us) alone, or else we would risk falling for stereotypical practices.

“Be part of the initiative of being a homemaker to educate your children more actively,” he noted.

Guest speakers for the ‘Fathers are family heroes: Building resilience among fathers’ included writer and motivator Ahmad Shafiai Uda Jaafar (Pak Utih) and family life coach Eddy Marson. The session moderator was Murni Hayati Mohd Dollah.

Follow the forum’s discourse in detail and watch the recording in the video below…

– The Vibes, June 19, 2022