Educate the young to combat cyberbullying: survivors

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KUALA LUMPUR – Two cyberbullying victims are calling for greater awareness and education from a young age about the consequences of such behaviour, and for victims to be courageous in speaking up if they are harassed online.

Sharing her experience, model Joanna Joseph, 25, told The Vibes that she had been the target of cyberbullying since she joined social media platforms at the age of 12. 

Considered to be chubby as an adolescent, Joanna said she became insecure about her profile picture due to hateful comments about her weight. 

“Over time, I did gain the confidence to post photos of myself, and everything was fine, until the online bullying started because I was a huge Justin Bieber fan, and also because of my weight. 

“It did hurt a little, but I learned to look past it,” she said.

However, a worse ordeal lay ahead. A man she met on social media whom she began dating started to emotionally blackmail her into sending him photos of herself. She gave in because she felt scared, she said. 

“There was also no one to guide me,” she added. “But after we broke up, my photos ended up online as sexual harassment (against me).”

This included fake profiles created on Facebook and Twitter using her photos. She also said those who created the fake accounts began adding and following all her friends.

“It was a very traumatising time as everyone I knew had those photos (sent in confidence to her ex-boyfriend) in their phones,” she said.

As a result, other social media users began to blackmail her, threatening to spread her photos around if she did not send them other photos of herself, as well as money.

After entering the modeling field, she also began receiving hateful comments on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok from fake profiles to the content she shared.

“There was once a troll page on Facebook that took one of my music videos and photos and re-edited everything, calling me a porn star. It went viral to the point I had to make a police report and bring it to the Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission,” she said.

It was scary as I did not know who was behind these profiles.”

Due to the bullying she received on Facebook as well as in school over her weight, Joanna began self-harming when she was in school and also fell into depression.

“I began self-harming at the age of 14 because I had no one to talk to about what was going on – and I was in so much emotional pain,” she said.

The idea of self-harm also came from her friends after she told them of the bullying.

“As an only child, I was very afraid of opening up to my parents,” she added.

Self-harming became an addiction, Joanna said, and also affected her mental state. She blamed herself for every negative comment made online because she thought it was true and felt the need to punish herself.

Suicidal feelings developed and after an incident, Joanna finally felt scared enough to talk to her father – whom she credits as being the one who helped her through her difficult years.

“When he realised how severely I was hurting, he became my best friend more than my father.

“He became the person I could reach out to for anything, and that’s when I stopped self-harming because I knew there was someone who would always have my back, and that person was my father,” she said. 

Even now, Joanna said it is impossible not to “feel something” when negative remarks are passed. However, she said she works hard at disregarding such comments and moves on.

The answer to cyberbullying is awareness and education in schools, she said.

Schools should implement anti-cyberbullying campaigns since young children should be aware of what it is and its effects.

Her advice to victims is to block accounts spewing hateful comments which appear fake. “There is no value to being upset over an online comment,” she said.

Meanwhile, former national swimmer Cindy Ong also shared her experience of being a cyberbullying victim.

Ong said she used to receive sexually explicit messages through Instagram and Facebook, including comments about her body. Some harassers even found her number and sent her these messages on WhatsApp.

“I got these messages and also inappropriate videos almost every day across multiple platforms.

“I stopped posting (on social media) for a very long time because people just thought that I was ‘available’ and asked me to send them nude photos.

Ong, who had studied psychology in the past, said the subject had helped her to remain positive when facing cyberbullies.

“I continue to speak out against sexual harassment and try to bring justice because cyberbullying is not right.

“I’m actually really fortunate that my voice can be heard and some sort of change can be made, or at least I feel like I’m helping others who are voiceless,” she said.

Studying psychology had also helped her understand that cyberbullies themselves lack courage as they are hiding behind a mask, Ong added.

“They didn’t have the courage to come and tell us in front of our faces because they are hiding behind fake accounts.”

Ong said education campaigns for students must begin at an early age because children are using electronic devices at younger ages, and they must be taught to identify cyberbullying.

Education is necessary as bullies are sometimes unaware of their actions, she added.

Cyberbullies can be very young, typically in their teens or early 20s, and they believe that their hurtful comments are harmless.

“For instance, commenting that a 10-year-old girl should not wear a crop top because she looks fat, for the rest of her life that girl will feel insecure due to a comment made by an unknown person. 

“Therefore, I believe that awareness is needed so that people do not comment inappropriately on social media,” Ong said.

Even I have started to educate my children from a young age. I will tell my children that cyberbullying is bad behaviour and to never do that to someone.”

In 2020, the United Nations Children’s Fund (Unicef) reported that Malaysia ranked second in Asia for cyberbullying among youths. 

Unicef also said three out of 10 young Malaysians have been a victim of cyberbullies in the country.

In January this year, Malaysian Mental Health Association (MMHA) president Datuk Dr Andrew Mohanraj had said that MMHA received 500 calls every month regarding cases of cyberbullying. – The Vibes, January 2, 2023