SELF honouring is a combination of self respect and self acceptance. You respect yourself for who you are, respect what you have done in life and who you have chosen to become. Both good and bad.
In short, you accept yourself in totality, regardless of any flaws that you may have or any faults that you may have caused. Life is not just identifying yourself with the good and discarding all the bad, whether they be negative incidents in life or your own character flaws. The cycle of life is about bringing everything back into balance and you can only achieve your personal inner balance through the process of self honouring.
How to start the self honouring process:
Self honouring derives from the understanding of putting yourself FIRST. Commonly, in our culture & society, we are often taught to give to others first and that prioritising oneself is an act of selfishness. This is a false concept.
Taking care of your own needs does not mean you are selfish. In this context of self-care, it means we acknowledge our true feelings, thoughts and even physical needs (which can be as simple as resting when you feel physically, mentally or emotionally tired). By doing so, you honour your needs and place yourself just as importantly as you do others.
People who practise self honouring tend to love themselves more and live a more balanced life. Another ‘side effect’ of self honouring is that you will tend to attract people and situations in life that will respect you more and also take your needs into consideration.
This can create an ecology of mutual honouring of others and a win-win situation for the people around you.
However, in our current society, self honouring is uncommon and seemingly difficult and complex to embody.
You may often
- wait for others to honour and appreciate you and your contributions
- feel undeserving and unworthy to be honoured
All these situations are results of a strong sense of lack (i.e. not having enough) and an emptiness within you. Unconsciously, you seek love, respect, acknowledgement or recognition from others. Eventually, you will fall into the trap of needing to have love, respect and recognition to fill up this black hole of emptiness in your heart.
Having said that, you can always make conscious choices to change how your life will unfold.
Simple self honouring tools for your own self practice:
- List down all your achievements – big and small – that made you feel “Yes! I did it!” Example: Finally, I can cook well.
- Go through your achievements one by one while being fully aware of your personal feelings. Silently call out your name and acknowledge the effort made. Example : In your heart, call <name>, "I am feeling fulfilled, happy and loved for being able to cook good meals for my family. Yes! I made it!"
- Be generous with your compliments to others. Honour others as you would like to be honoured.
- Learn to say ‘no’ compassionately should you feel not up to taking up any tasks or responsibilities that are being asked of you.
Self honouring can be as simple as ABC. You do not need to take a long time to achieve this significant treasure in your life. – The Vibes, June 25, 2021
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Low Sheau Shy is a Certified Meditation Facilitator
For practical and in-depth experience of self honoring, you can explore Self Honoring Meditation on Self-Care Sunday.
Get yourself a free pass to Self Care Sunday (27 June @ 2- 5pm via Zoom) - a women exclusive event dedicated to bring you on a journey to experience total women’s wellness through nurturing your body, mind & soul.
Find out more: https://bit.ly/TGSM_SelfCareSunday
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