EFFORTS to improve recognition towards emotional stability and well-being issues have been sprouting since the pandemic hit in a positive way.
One Malaysian company that is part of the movement to normalise mental health discussions on a community level, specifically by encouraging honest dialogues among friend groups is But Honestly (@buthonestly.co).
Beginning with its launch via Instagram earlier this year, the profile was created to provide a safe space for people to share their thoughts, vulnerabilities, fears (among others) without the worry of public scrutiny.
“This community allows for connection and for people to feel like they are not as alone as they may have believed,” shared co-founder Ting Shi Qi.
Sharing and caring
Further detailing the background, the idea started after realising she had a hard time sharing how she felt with her parents.
Shi Qi wondered if anything could help ease the conversation that she wanted to have but didn't know how to start. She wondered if other Malaysians felt the same way.
Together with co-founder Sarah Wong, they realised that while some friendships may have been established for years, that does not mean a person knows entirely about his/her friend or what said person is going through.
“Hence, we created something that would make some sort of a social impact, which normalises speaking about our emotions, sharing about our hardships and reaching out to others,” said Shi Qi.
Noting the response to be encouraging thus far, “I am glad that we (the core team, which includes the co-founders and Davin Ngu, who is head researcher and game designer, and the social media team, which consists of 13 people) established a space to discuss the importance of opening up as well as how we should take care of our mental health.
“There is no telling without asking, and it does start with asking one right question.
“That is what we do on our page because we understand that sometimes people simply need an outlet to share and be heard,” she added.
Shi Qi highlighted that being engaging helps encourage followers to open up. She notes the team makes it a point to keep the interaction with followers on Instagram daily.
On the challenges faced whilst pushing for the page’s objective: “Perhaps not knowing what to do when someone shares something very deep to us seems like a cry for help.
“All responses are shared anonymously, and we make sure to be respectful when someone requests for us not to share their responses,” she said.
A game that helps us stay mindful
Shi Qi also shared that the team collaborates closely with related mental health NGOs to address the issues raised from the pool of information received.
“With our Kickstarter, we want to donate 10% of what we raise and work with these social initiatives to build more than just a safe space.
“We want to expand our efforts at providing practical and affordable ways in gaining relevant mental health aids,” she said.
The Kickstarter in question is an initiative to raise funds for the But Honestly card game to be played among a group of friends that would allow people to ask questions and foster deeper connections.
According to Shi Wi, seeing that people want to share their stories and listen to the experiences and perspectives of others, encouraging engagement further through the activity can be seen as a boost.
“We hired designer Emilyn Gan (@onewithkindness) to help design the card game. It will serve as a jump starter to create a comfortable and safe space for raw conversations within existing friend groups.
“You know how whenever it’s past midnight and our brains start to rest, which allows for our defences to go down? In those moments we tend to be more vulnerable and honest where often, we share our deepest thoughts,” she said.
The idea is to create a type of safe setting that is just as Shi Qi shared whenever the But Honestly card game is present.
“It doesn’t have to fit that exact rare midnight conversation shared as an example, but the safe space can happen whenever.
“Ideally, the goal is when we start talking about things we usually shy away from when the lights are not dimmed, and our defences are not down,” Shi Qi added.
The Kickstarter is set to launch on August 27. Link to the initiative will be updated on the same article upon said date.
Slow to speak, quick to listen
Among the top issues raised by the community include our relationship with parents. It's “a very common Asian problem that I feel resonates amongst Malaysians where I feel like there is a lot of unresolved hurt on both the parent and child’s end.
“We get to hear a lot of very heartbreaking stories of how the words of a parent can just scar a child. That scar, when not addressed, cannot properly heal, regardless of the age of the child,” shared Shi Qi.
Expressing her thoughts on whether our attitudes about mental illness have reached the right place, “I don’t think as a nation we are there yet.
“That said, I am so encouraged to see young people stand up and talk about the importance of it.
“From famous influencers like Jane Chuck and Maggy Wang to 13-year-olds who follow us and share their stories, I see a movement of people who understand the importance of taking care of our mental health and being outspoken enough to share about it”.
On what we can all do to support people close to us who might be going through a difficult time: “To listen!”
“There were many times where I have been quick to offer advice or how I have been through something similar.
“Hence, I always remind myself to be slow to speak and quick to listen instead,” shared Shi Qi.
“Giving perspective is important, but it should always be done after we listen and allow the person reaching out to share what they are going through.
“People want to be heard, and this goes by being supported where they know that others are there for them,” she stressed. – The Vibes, August 15, 2021
