KUALA LUMPUR – When one thinks of a sugar daddy or mummy, one generally has the impression of a well-off man or woman with a high-profile career or successful business that rakes in an annual income of six- or seven-digit figures.
The picture a person would have in mind is of someone powerful, dominating but eccentric, bedecked in silks or Italian suits – living in a McMansion or penthouse suite, and driving or being chauffeured around in million-ringgit continental cars.
The last thing one would think of is a bespectacled, nerdy, 30-something M40 gamer who works for an IT consultant firm – while managing to sleep with scores of attractive young women.
This is the story of a “discount sugar daddy”, who wants to be known only as Benjamin.
“I started fooling around because my wife is a sexual prude,” he said.
“She’s from a kampung, so for her, sex is only about procreation, for making babies. Her mindset is that sex for pleasure is disgusting.
“To her, oral sex is disgusting, French kisses are disgusting, fingering is disgusting, even my orgasms are disgusting. If I’m satisfied at home, I wouldn’t be out doing this. However, at the same time, I can’t simply divorce her for having that mindset.
“I love her, but I have not French-kissed her in more than six years,” he told The Vibes, adding that his wife complained that mouth bacteria is the reason she refuses to play tonsil hockey with him.
He said he was on the now infamous sugar-dating website Sugarbook.com for roughly a year, and was a paid member for one month – more than enough time for him to chat up a number of gorgeous women in their 20s and 30s and get their phone numbers.
High costs of sugar dating
Benjamin, who earns a four-figure salary and supports a small family, admitted that he could not afford to use the platform for longer due to the exorbitant fee charged by the website – as well as the girls listed.
The IT professional said it cost him RM200 just to be a member and have access to messages from female users.
He said the women on Sugarbook charged a lot for the pleasure of their time and company.
“I admit, I can’t afford to support a full-time sugar baby. If you look at the recent survey that got everyone up in arms, sugar daddies earn around RM12,500 a month on average, and sugar babies cost around RM2,500 a month.
“I couldn’t afford that. So, what I did was arrange for one-night stand dates where I paid for everything – the hotel room, dinner, date… and also some ‘gratuity’ for their time. This little ‘fee’ cost me anything between RM200 and RM700 for the whole night.
“Sometimes, it’s also just like a normal date, I don’t pay anything. The only caveat is that I must follow what they want me to do.
“Some of these girls would be okay with unprotected sex as long as I didn’t shoot my load in them, while others insisted on a condom.
“Apart from that, I could do nearly whatever I wanted with them for that night,” said Benjamin, whose relationship with his sugar babies seems close to what a person might have with a professional escort or call girl.
However, he said, unlike prostitutes, where the sexual act can lack intimacy as it is purely a business transaction, having one-night stands with the girls on Sugarbook is different as there is usually chemistry.
He added that the price of a “date” with these beauties is sometimes far more affordable than hiring a prostitute, and for him, much more satisfying.
Asked if he is still active on Sugarbook, Benjamin said he has stopped using it as he could no longer afford the RM200 monthly subscription.
However, he has not stopped trying to get lucky.
He has since moved on to other platforms, such as dating apps Bumble and Tinder.
On his opinion regarding the government’s ban on Sugarbook, he just laughed and said: “Sugarbook already sent me their alternative site. I don’t think the government can stop this. I don’t think they want to stop this.” – The Vibes, February 18, 2021
