SMILING, but with a trembling voice, Ooi Chee Eng, 40, stood before around 50 people and spoke about being bipolar and suicidal in public for the first time.
“It is because of my sisters who are constantly there for me, that I am here today,” the mother of one who was diagnosed two decades ago said on Lang Tengah, Terengganu, on Aug 29, the night before she and others in the group would swim 10km to Redang Island.
She stressed the importance of community support to help her manage the lifelong illness, and to have the courage to speak openly about it.
Ooi’s inspiration to be open about her condition came from “Courage in the Current” (CitC), a campaign to raise awareness about mental health and suicide prevention.
Ooi Chee Eng
The swim team behind CitC were friends of Gwee Jo-Ee, 38, who died by suicide last November. It was Gwee’s idea to swim the 10km solo for mental health awareness and raise funds for Befrienders Kuala Lumpur (KL), a 24/7 helpline for anyone feeling distressed and suicidal.
On Aug 30, the team paid tribute to Gwee and fulfilled her dream by completing the swim in about five hours, with safety and medical crew and supporters watching from accompanying boats. CitC has also raised just over RM102,000 for Befrienders KL.
Gwee was a suicide survivor who also grieved the loss of a close friend to suicide. She knew that talking about the issue was vital to healing and aimed to remove the stigma and silence surrounding the topic.
In the months before her death, Gwee worked hard at raising funds for her swim, but unknown to many, was also battling her darkest days.
Although she had bravely spoken in public about her Bipolar Type 2 condition, few could detect the inner turmoil beneath her cheerful and generous personality.
“She left behind a note which mentioned my name and asked for the money she had crowdfunded to be passed to me to continue the swim she dreamed of. I felt a responsibility to do so,” said Sugania Vijayan, CitC co-director and a close friend of Gwee’s.
As part of CitC’s suicide prevention campaign, swimmers and support crew were required to attend training by Befrienders KL on how to converse with those who feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts.
Humbling experience
“The training humbled me, coming from the corporate world where we tell each other to ‘man up’ when facing problems,” said swimmer Kenneth Chang, 52.
“Everyone has their own story. When I asked friends to donate to Befrienders through CitC, to my surprise, several opened up about their own struggles with depression and even suicidal thoughts. I was totally unprepared for that. It shows the importance of empathy,” added Chang, who is the Deputy Chief Executive Officer at U Mobile, one of CitC’s sponsors.
Stigma over the subject is so entrenched in society that another swimmer, Jeffrey Low, said he always thought it was better to avoid the topic for fear that speaking about it would plant the idea in a depressed person.
“I’ve learnt that it is OK to ask a depressed person if they have such thoughts. Asking creates an opening for the person to share things they are keeping inside. It could save their life.”
Low, founder of SafevCharge, another CitC sponsor, and who trained alongside Gwee, said asking a simple “Are you ok?” should be followed by listening without judgement.
“There is a reason why someone behaves or feels the way they do. Give them space to share their perspective, even if we don’t fully understand,” he said.
In Malaysia, nearly three deaths by suicide occur daily, based on the 1,087 deaths in 2023, according to the Statistics Department’s figures in 2024. The number of suicides was 1,142 cases in 2021 and 981 in 2022. Non-profit mental health advocacy group Relate Malaysia, however, believes official records do not reflect the actual number of cases due to misclassification by the authorities, and underreporting due to shame.
CitC organising committee member Wong Pui Yan, 44, said her biggest takeaway from the training is the fact that suicide survivors are at higher risk of making a repeat attempt.
“A previous attempt is a red flag. I saw this in Gwee’s case. She was getting support and treatment. When she was discharged from hospital, I felt relieved. But I now know this was a misconception. It did not mean she was fully OK.”
The training also provided Wong some measure of understanding to the questions that remain as to why Gwee, even with all the support received, still chose to leave life.
“I learnt that ambivalence is part of this illness. The person can still be functional, planning for future activities, yet at the same time also face deep hopelessness. It is hard to fully understand. The point is to keep the conversation going and let them know we are there for them.”
At a public mental health talk on Aug 2 held as part of CitC’s programmes, Befrienders KL Executive Director Kenny Lim highlighted other warning signs such as extreme changes to mood and eating habits, and prolonged self-isolation.
These behavioural changes fall under the first of three “Ls”, which is to Look for signs, then to Listen by asking the affected person to share what they are experiencing.
“When lending support, avoid ‘toxic positivity’ by saying things like ‘Don’t worry, it will get better’ or ‘just move on’. Instead, they need our empathy and our unconditional acceptance of them, including their feelings,” Lim told the public forum.
The emphasis on feelings may be hard to accept for the more stoic, but Lim said to see it from the struggling individual’s perspective—they do not think about ending life per se, but to end their pain and suffering.
The third “L” is to Link the individual to others trained and qualified to provide help, diagnosis and treatment, such as mental health and medical professionals.
Gwee was courageous in defying stigma to start honest conversations about mental health and suicide. Keeping that conversation going would have been hard if not for the courage of her parents, who have allowed her story to be shared by CitC.
“The fact that her parents are here (for the swim) and allow the public to know her story, speaks to their strength,” said Wong.
Thanking the swimmers for their efforts, the grieving father, Gwee Choon, 69, said: “Let’s turn grief into purpose and loss into a legacy of hope.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, seek help. Talk to someone you trust or call Befrienders at 03-76272929. – September 10, 2025
